Monday, December 21, 2009

Case of an artist

An artist is constantly in a sort of duel with his own creation. Both seem to be engaged in a struggle to shape each other's image. Either he can turn it into a beautiful masterpiece or it can make him just another average painter. I feel like an artist all the time. An artist stuck at a point where he knows something is not right but can't figure just what. Like a writer lacking a right word. The impasse lingers on.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Damn road to perfection!

It's been a while I took to it. The road to perfection is slippery and dodgy to say the least. It tends to throw me off track by offering beautiful and tempting exits. And of course, the threats. It puts ideas in my mind and words in my mouth. Both encouraging and discouraging. That's why I find myself talking to myself a lot. The road gives you experiences and with experiences you grow up and old. It tells me experiences are precious and that they make me wise. And that we should listen to the "wise". I tell it I'm experienced and wise enough to see the trap. I never tell myself I am a grown up and never let others tell me I'm not. For first is a mistake and second is a mockery. Both impediments to Perfection. First makes you complacent, second makes you irrelevant. For first puts a full stop to your growth, second puts a question mark whereas all I need and want is Space. It's the little mindgames the road and I play with each other. Sometime I take a detour to fool around and sometimes it plays pranks on me and in doing so it sometimes gets serious and I find myself falling flat on ground, all wounded and bruised. That's what it seems to be doing now...But as the challenges and tests keep getting tougher, the resolve sometimes seems to be getting thinner. Can't afford it.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Estate of mind

As freshening as the sight of fresh snow on blue mountains,
As alive as when you feel the cold wind on your face,
As soothing as the forest’s silent clamour on a winter’s day,
As assuring as the sunrays on the high tree tops,

Is the promise of all this as the sum of my life,
And the sum of all this is your presence in my life…
These are the things which fill my mind now,
These will be the things to fill my days then.

N.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Wrong turn

Sitting in a private cabin of the world's largest helicopter service provider...in a 10000 bucks suit...in probably the most beautiful city of the world...half a world across from home...waiting for a meeting with the top managers to discuss the negotiation strategy with the suppliers on the other hemisphere in another continent where I'm to fly in a couple of days...stuff that dreams are made of?...Not mine...where the hell have I reached?!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Of Beauty

Beauty is like a mathematical operation involving The Body and The Mind. And it's not Addition but Exponentiation. Each raises the Value of other so much...I won't take these two any other way. If I do, I won't be satisfied fully, ever. No matter what.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Self knowledge

"Self" is the sea but somehow we are always afraid or just plain ignorant to take a plunge and explore. We just stand on the shores ignoring the treasures that lie beneath and are busy looking for the less precious shells on the shore instead. Or we gaze onto the elusive horizon hoping to reach there someday on the sails of our dreams…but the Depth is what we ignore, the Depth where the most precious treasures of the world lie…the Depth where answers to every mystery, solutions to every problem, and riches to forever wipe the misery of our lives lie untouched waiting to be explored. Depth is where the Atlantis lies. Depth is which holds so many Everests. Depth is where the most ferocious volcanoes erupt. So what is it that you fear then when it’s you who is the master of such a force. What is it that makes you shiver when it’s you who is the beholder of such a power. So never fear to take the plunge. Allow others to bring in their boats and sail on your winds. Let them explore, expect nothing back. Some thankless ones will always dump their garbage into your waters. Just dump it somewhere in a corner and continue making waves. Never fear the occasional storms on the surface. Let the sea churn, the tides will always turn. Be safe in the knowledge that your refuge lies in the Depths only. That answers to your challenges lie in the Self only and the happiness you pursue lies in the Self-knowledge only.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Perfect problem

Can't "think" of a good line to start this with. But what the hell?! This isn't something that's happening for the first time now. I start anyway. Here goes the abrupt start. The problem with me is the pursuit of perfection. I don't want to do the things as best as I can, I want to do them as best as they can be done. This inevitably leads to conflict, struggle, frustration, indifference and ultimately divorce from the things. The perfect divorce.
...And with that there goes the not-so-abrupt end! I certainly feel like giving myself a little pat on the back for this now. Phew!...
On second "thought"...This post sucks!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Liberty of an unthinker

Speak bad, hear bad, see bad...and feel good. They do it so expertly. I am struggling. I'm struggling so fucking hard. This can't go on.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Predictability

"To be predictable is both good and bad. It's good when the predicted thing about you is wisdom and it's bad when it's your stupidity which is predictable. Or in other words, when you are predictably stupid!"

N.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Block...continued

May be it's the Thinker's Block.

The Block

What a painful paradox I've hit. Or is it the paradox that has hit me?? Damn!!...I mean the two have collided painfully!! But then, as we know The Paradox cannot feel the pain, can it? It's only I who's feeling the pain. Though the collision involved both. I think you get the point. You must get the point, except if you yourself have hit the Reader's Block. Painfully. I KNOW, the term is not Reader's Block. Because if you'd have been hit by, or rather collided with Reader's Block (painfully), you wouldn't be reading this. So there you see I know the meaning of Reader's Block. But that's not what this post is about. It is about Writer's Block.

So, I was saying...there's I, there's The Paradox, there's a Hit or Collision...and there is Pain. And then, there is this post about it. A post about the WRITER'S BLOCK. And THAT my friends is "The Paradox". How? Well...I'm trying to write something about this writer's block that I've hit...or which has hit me!!...Damn it!!

...Well, that's what I'm talking about. Let me try again.

Well, as I was saying...no...not "as" I was saying, it should be "what" I was saying. Anyhow, "as" or "what" I was saying was that one of the two, the two being "I" and "The Paradox", has hit the other. Painfully. And that's the subject of this particular post.

So, here goes the post. This is how it goes. It starts like this...

Friday, June 19, 2009

Abstract


"What are feelings? What is subconscious? If a person is deaf, blind, mute since birth, would he still have 'feelings'?"

Feelings are how we define our relationships with things, with others around us based on experiences gained overtime with the help of our senses...So our deaf-blind-mute friend would still have feelings based on sensations...He'll still love "a tender touch, a fragrance and he'll still fear the burn"...Now if you say that what if he doesn't have any senses at all...Are you talking about some vegetable? Yes in that case, he'll have no feelings.

And subconscious is nothing but that suppressed part of your mind which you had started neglecting and gradually you forget that it was only a part of your very consciousness a few years ago.

And what do you think about "feelings are governed by the heart"?

Feelings are also a function of our mind. The problem arises, when you start acting purely on your feelings, taking them as a substitute of Mind, and saying and actually believing such mindless maxims like "feelings are governed by the heart". Heart's function is not to govern or control the feelings or any such thing. All this crap associated with it is the doing of those who just won't accept the simple fact that A is A. That’s what I think. If only we leave the poor little hard-working organ to do its job and appreciate it just for that, half the miseries of this world will go like there never were.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Sign of the Times

Can you see the Sign of Times as I see? From where I see, the world seems to be stuck in one place, not making any progress…or if anything, it seems to be moving with handbrakes on but it’s definitely not making the rapid & huge strides forward as is normally touted. It can’t, because the Minds are not. Here’s what I see…

Youth of today…with a mind of its own, reaching out to the unprecedented boundaries, riding the developmental springtide, blooming & waving in the winds of change…with their values firmly & proudly rooted in the "temple" backyards. The fashion icons, the speakers of their mind, the balanced Individuals…the wearers of holy chants, the singers of Hare Krishna and Ya Ali (redemption is fashionable & fast!!), the "fusion" breed.

Balanced - Belting out effortlessly the cool and hip lingo, ‘the muthafuckas’ on the outside…AND…basking in reassuring glory of the "Oh-my-Gods" inside…and of course, in between there lies a cleansing layer of "conscience" doubling up as an impenetrable shield to their "compassionate heart". The glowing faces lit by confidence, the unshakable confidence cemented by "faith". Faith is still the granted thing as breath. Touching it with "Reason" is still "blasphemy".

The mature, the wise, they talk sense…AND…are frequently wounded by logic but then uplifted by "spirituality". The super slick go-getters, the system changing revolutionaries, the wannabe rebels…the office-politicos, the "practical" beings…all bustling with energy, ever so sure of what they want…AND…all praying silently to their "Gods", all waiting for the day when their "souls shall be freed".

The Intellectual streak, the Philosophical bent...sadly & mostly end up implying the blinkers of supposed-to-be (but somehow impossible to BE), the strait-jackets of conditioned brains, the inevitable thresholds of set mentality.

The Youth, with a Mind of its own. The Evolution, with the pace of its own!

Do you see the Sign of the Times as I do?